Dealey Plaza, Then and Now

These pictures were taken on a visit to Dallas in late November. I happened to be at Dealey Plaza at around noon (the same time of day of the Kennedy assasination), and stood on the same pedestal where Abraham Zapruder filmed the  assasination of JFK. I then took a quick series of pictures, perhaps 12 in all, without making any measurements or adjustments.
When I came back home I overlapped them with the Zapruder film.
Mr. Zapruder must have been about as tall as I am. The pictures overlap perfectly. Even the shadows cast by the people standing on the site, then and now, align perfectly.
What was most revealing for me was the quality of today's technology and the minute size of the Zapruder film. My pictures were taken with an older 6 megapixel camera, yet the image size is much bigger and sharper than Zapruder's film.  In comparison, his footage looks as if he had been filming through a peephole. In a way it was: a peephole into a historical event.
Dealey Plaza has changed over the years. In the pictures it becomes apparent that the old Stemons Freeway sign (which obstructed several frames of the Zapruder film) has been completely removed, and the street lamps have been set back from the pavement  edge of the sidewalk.


This article was was also published by me on cnn.com

5 Effective Ways to Become a Nicer Person

Photo: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A couple of days ago a friend of mine asked me how to she should deal with difficult people. Since she is a close friend, I replied that her problem was not only dealing with difficult people, but also being nicer to others herself. That got me thinking about ways that I have learned to connect with people and to be nicer to them. Here's a few ways:

1. Meditate. Spend time every day, even if it is only for five minutes, quieting your mind and letting go of your repetitive thoughts. How is this done? Several meditation authors recommend sitting down in a quiet place and anticipating or listening for your next thought. Just try to listen in your mind for the next idea or thought that might pop up.

2. Acknowledge.  Acknowledge and accept your reality. This is easier said than done, but if you do so you will relieve yourself of a lot of pressure and allow yourself to accept yourself as you are.

3.Appreciate. This can be done during your meditation period or at random, several times during the day. How do you appreciate? You can think of all the good things that you have. Whatever you can think of that is good in your life can be appreciated. it might be that you had a good dinner, or that you have great friends or a great family, or that the weather was nice today. Even a nice attendant at a gas station can be appreciated, and you can tell them so. Anything that you can think of that causes you to say "thanks" is worth thinking about with appreciation.

4. Empathize. It is hard to be nice to some who is rude to you, but it helps if you put yourself in their shoes for a minute.What is their background? Where did they come from? If you understand where people are coming from you can begin to see their motivations, fears and aspirations. That will not diminish their negative actions, but it will soften your attitude toward them.

5. Ask questions. I recently came across a cashier at a supermarket that was in a very foul mood. I asked him, "Are you having a bad day?" He immediately became friendlier and told me that he had a painful foot injury but could not skip work because he needed the income. How can you reciprocate rudeness if you know the troubles that people are going through? I told him that I wished that his shift went by quickly and that he felt better soon. The cashier finished my transaction with a smile and thanked me.

These are just a few ways to be nicer. I'd love to hear your insights on being nicer to people. You can share your observations in the comments below.

Forget Optimism!

We are supposed to be cheerful, happy and upbeat, specially on social media. It's almost a sin to be negative, right? Every day I see a barrage of memes with feel good messages. Facebook and twitter posts always have extremely inspirational and uplifting content, sometimes several times per day. The messages always revolve around:

• Good times are on the way
• "Align your "vibration" or your "tone" (a favorite law of attraction theme)
• You are not alone
• Etc. etc.

But do we have to feel good? What's wrong with feeling awful? How about facing reality, as bad as it is and as much as it sucks? Here's the harsh reality that many of us (yes, including me) experience:

• Being broke sucks
• I hate my job
• I'm overweight
• I'm lonely
• My life is boring
• I just feel dissatisfied with what I have accomplished in my life

I would rather see memes with such messages. You may be thinking, is this guy crazy? What's wrong with him?  Here's why I think this way: Sometimes we need to take a long hard look at our reality and face it, hard as it may be. Why? Because it is the first step to getting to a better position or to advancing toward a better future. Take a long hard look at yourself. Reality is more enlightening and refreshing than any feel good phrase or image. Reality is freedom. Discomfort is good, because it propels us to change.
I invite you to feel the pain of being overweight, unhappy, bored, lonely or whatever it is that bothers you. Don't mask reality with good feelings! Accept your current reality. Face it! Get angry! And then take steps to change. Change the source of the pain. Do what it takes. Improve your condition. Track your progress. Do something!
And when you see that you have become what you always wanted to be, you will not need feel-good phrases to feel great. 
--MM

The Battle Of Anghiari, Rediscovered

NatGeo is poised to bring back to life the long lost Leonardo da Vinci painting The Battle Of Anghiari at the Palazzo Vecchio. It has long been believed that Giorgio Vasari painted The Battle Of Marciano over the remnants of Leonardo's painting, fifty years after da Vinci abandoned his unfinished project. It is unlikely that any rescuing effort will yield a clear image of the original Battle Of Anghiari, as it was nearly destroyed by Leonardo himself, who melted most of it in an effort to dry the ink. But we have his studies, as well as Peter Ruben's copy of the painting.

 I blended both da Vinci's known studies, as well as Rubens' rendition, and the result gave me a more precise idea of Leonardo's forceful imagery. Leonardo's sketches can be seen in the second and fourth faces from the left: 

 That, at least for now, is as close as I could get to admiring da Vinci's original intent.

Is There A Place For Us?

It seems like a lot of us don't fit, do we? You gotta be crazy to  start an online business and to think that you are going to make a living out of it. We're nuts, or are we?

1. I graduated from college on a beautiful summer day in California. There was no hint of  recession yet. My GPA was great and so were my prospects. I posted a résumé on Monster.com and within half an hour my beeper (yes, they were still in use then) started beeping with 17 (!) calls for interviews.
--And I eventually found a corporate job
--And had a cubicle
--And a 401 (k)
--And a great credit rating
--And a luxury car

So I played to script.  Should have been happy, right? Well no, not at all. At the most prosperous time of my young life I felt boxed in. And working from a cubicle, I literally was.

2. If corporate work wasn't my thing, what was? Very helpful magazines like Entrepreneur and Inc. appealed to my free spirit, and I soon found myself opening a small business.
--And I bought a large format printer
--And got myself a client base
--And worked hard at my job pipeline
--And got myself known in the small business community

Now I was free, had my own hours, and responded to no one but my clients. I should be happy then, right? Well no, not quite. The business consumed all of me, all of me. No time to relax, no weekends, no time with my family. Either I made it happen or no one else would. I was a true business owner.

3. After a long period of indecision, failure and frustration I decided to, for the first time in my life, abandon whatever safety I had in doing what is known and tested and try a new thing: I decided to start writing.
--But I'd never written before!
--There's a ton of bloggers out there!
--It's like wanting to make it as a Hollywood actor!

But guess what: I am happy. For the first time I feel connected. Connected to my audience. Connected to whom I really am. Connected to a sense of purpose.

And there's a ton of us our there. All my blogging friends, self-help experts and independent writers, we are where we should be! Let's keep this momentum going and continue building our networks and our audience. We make a difference, we can help, and the online business community is where we belong!